I am a mess. And not the cute mess as in messy bun and yoga pants but the kind of mess that really makes you stop and think what is happening in my life. Several months ago I thought I knew what I wanted and what the next chapter for me looked like but God had different plans. I had a job which if I’m being honest with myself I wasn’t happy with and it didn’t suit me and then another job fell in my lap but I quickly realized it wasn’t the right fit either. So there I was feeling like a failure and I just kept my choices to myself because it was easier than admitting defeat.
I really felt the Lord called me to go back to school so I went and now here I am unemployed and wondering if my discernment is more like a mac truck I’m driving to get to where I think I should be going. When I was in graduate school we had a lot of major things happening in our life all at once so I feel like the last year and a half has almost been a blur that I am just now really feeling the effects from.
I’ve seen so many posts from friends lately about being thankful for their tribes and I’ve had to reflect on that absence in my life. We made the decision to move and switch churches which we know was and is the right decision four our family but what that created was a rift between those we were closest with which has been a tough pill to swallow. It’s caused me to doubt who I am because if people don’t want to invest in me anyone more, am I worth it? It’s caused to me to wonder what’s wrong with me if I can’t sustain friendships 20 minutes up the road. I told you I’m a mess. But I want to be honest about my mess because I feel its the social media filtered lives that we all post do us a disservice. That filter of “look how wonderful my life is and everything is perfect”. I’m tired of looking for the right filter. The stress of social media is real and I know I can’t be the only one who thinks that. I just want to be open and honest with myself and everyone. Sometimes you have to claim your mess before you can start picking it up.
If you know me at all you know that I am paper/stationary/planner/office supply OBSESSED. There is just something about it that makes me happy and I love shopping for it. This year will be my second year with an Emily Ley Simplified Planner and Lara Casey’s PowerSheets. Being as tomorrow is August 1st (the start of my academic simplified planner) I’ve decided after hearing Lara and Emily talk about using these products together, to actually start doing this myself. Last night I sat down and did my power sheets prep work for August (yes something didn’t get done in July and I added them to August). This morning I sat down with both products to give my self a greater chance for success towards my August goals.
The tending list can be taken out of the PowerSheets but I like to keep mine in tact. I also love my cultivate what matters sticker book to help dress up not only my PowerSheets but my planner. As you can see I marked in my monthly layout when to do my prep work for next month. Next I used another sticker to cover up the word “Notes” in my planner to say “tend to this” to keep items from my tending list front and center. Then I used my Emily Ley Dot Stickers to add some organization and color!
You can get 20% off Simplified Planners through tomorrow with the code 20OFFSP!
If you have any questions about either products or how I use them feel free to ask
*post does contain affiliate links, however this post is not sponsored. I just LOVE these products!*
I’ve made a really eye opening revelation recently. I parent out of fear. Not making my children afraid of me (although I’m sure from time to time they are) but parenting them because I’m afraid they will turn out like me. What happens is I catch them doing something that reminds me of something that I do and I come down hard on them, not always because what they are doing is necessarily wrong but because I’m afraid of them picking up my bad qualities. I’m learning that I have to be okay with all my attributes. God entrusted these two children to me and I have to trust that he will equip me in raising up gracious and loving children. My kids come from me and my husband and are bound to have some of our personality traits good or bad. Also bad is a relative term, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
So often I parent out of what I DON’T want them to be that I forget to parent them into what I DO want them to be. I forget to celebrate their uniqueness instead of trying to stifle it because it scares me. When it comes to parenting I often feel that sometimes nuggets of wisdom come and then feel like it’s too late to apply them. In reality my parenting style is continually evolving because my children are continually changing at what works in one situation might not work in the next. All in all i’m doing the best that I can with the knowledge I have and lean on God.
I started an intensive bible study last Friday that has already been eye opening. One of the things I read was about in order to to be disciple of Christ you need to be disciplined. It defined discipline in one’s spiritual walk as making space for God to work (at least that’s the gist). When I read that a huge lightbulb went off. I’m often complaining and wondering where is God and why isn’t He doing anything. The problem isn’t God, the problem is me. I do not provide God space to work and do what He does. I have become addicted to the busyness of this world. When my calendar is full and I’m constantly running around like a chicken with my head cut off I’m pushing God out of the way. My goal for the rest of this year and for 2017 is to make space for God. Making space for Him FIRST will allow all the other things in my life to fall into place.
In order to try and be as successful as I can be I’m going to iron out a few action steps. First off, I’m going to start by writing in time with God in my planner. I’m a HUGE planner person. I write everything else in there so why wouldn’t I carve out time for the one who created time. After that I need to have a plan with how I’m going to spend that time. I don’t need to schedule it in detail but at least have a general idea of how that time is going to be spent in His presence. Whether that be journaling, praying, scripture dissection, etc. Finally, I need to make sure that I have everything I need to make the time successful: bible, notebook, pens and whatever else I find useful in my quiet time.
I hope this post gave you some food for thought and some practical tips to help you make space for God so he can work in BIG ways in your life.
in grace and love,
Hello and welcome to my little corner of the internet. After finishing grad school I’ve had some time to think about goals and what I want for my life and legacy. Spirited Grace is the name I chose because it is something I want to have. The word spirited means full of energy, enthusiasm, and determination. I want to have grace that way. I want to lavish grace on others with enthusiasm. I want to have grace for myself that is determined to affect me in a deep soul change way.While I am not very eloquent or necessarily be an expert on any given subject I do feel I have things I want to say. This blog provides me a space to write and share my heart and passions. I hope that posts give you some food for thought, leave you encouraged, or let you know you aren’t the only one.
in grace and love,