Parenting Out of Fear

 I’ve made a really eye opening revelation recently. I parent out of fear. Not making my children afraid of me (although I’m sure from time to time they are) but parenting them because I’m afraid they will turn out like me. What happens is I catch them doing something that reminds me of something that I do and I come down hard on them, not always because what they are doing is necessarily wrong but because I’m afraid of them picking up my bad qualities. I’m learning that I have to be okay with all my attributes. God entrusted these two children to me and I have to trust that he will equip me in raising up gracious and loving children. My kids come from me and my husband and are bound to have some of our personality traits good or bad. Also bad is a relative term, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

So often I parent out of what I DON’T want them to be that I forget to parent them into what I DO want them to be. I forget to celebrate their uniqueness instead of trying to stifle it because it scares me. When it comes to parenting I often feel that sometimes nuggets of wisdom come and then feel like it’s too late to apply them. In reality my parenting style is continually evolving because my children are continually changing at what works in one situation might not work in the next. All in all i’m doing the best that I can with the knowledge I have and lean on God.

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